Both people can feel misunderstood. The pursuing partner feels abandoned or ignored. The withdrawing partner feels criticized, trapped, or flooded. Each response makes the other one louder.
The harder one partner pushes, the more the other withdraws. The more one partner withdraws, the more the other escalates. The pattern becomes the enemy, but it rarely feels that way in the moment. It feels like the other person is the problem.
Couples therapy helps name the cycle without shaming either partner. The goal is not to decide who is right. The goal is to stay present long enough to hear what is happening underneath the argument.
Next step
If this pattern is familiar, you do not have to sort it out alone.
A free consultation can help clarify whether Sawyer Counseling is the right fit.